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An Irish mammy has given the most sound advice to Electric Picnic goers this year.
Stradbally resident (but proud Ratheniska native) Caitriona Fingleton pulls no punches in her level headed but hilarious advice to the 70,000 heading to her town this weekend. She has real experience as she lives in the village, attends the festival and even helps clean up afterwards.
Caitriona says that inspiration came to her at 4am to put it together, so that's even more impressive!
Here are her top tips to enjoy a good Electric Picnic festival.
# Slow down on the drinking in the campsite. You don't want to be living with the fear every time you see a picture/video/post and it would be a shame to miss all the music and craic. *edit* eating ISN'T cheating
# Be careful where you buy your yolkes. For God's sake don't go trippin for the first time at the picnic. There was a young lad a few years ago that had such a bad trip he was wandering around the countryside for days after. He was still off his chuck when finally captured. Or just say no!!
# All roads are two way traffic. SLOW DAFOOK DOWN! and keep over. You won't make it at all if drive headfirst into another car or rear end someone around a bend.
# When you park your car, drop a pin. Then sellotape the key, using at least one full roll of sellotape(gaffer tape even better) to your person. The amount of poor little dibils that are left in the carpark till the following weekend!!!!!
# Bring a power bank and make sure your phone never dies.
# Bring toilet paper and wet wipes.
# Bring plastic bags for your rubbish and wet clothes. Also if you pull a large black bag over your sleeping bag it will keep you warm and dry even if your tent leaks. You might also sweat your bollix off thought so, your choice.
# When you pitch your tent, drop a pin. Also look at the trees nearest you through squinty crossed eyes so you can identify them later that night.
# If you bring it with you, bring it home, but don't bring home anything you didn't pay cold hard cash for.
# Always always always wear a condom!!!!
# Don't use residents gateways as toilets. There is a young fella somewhere with the litteral imprint of my boot on his arse. He probably lost 4 friends that year too. He had no option but to get back into his car with a lumpy jocks. I'd say they just burned the car after.
# Save an ICE number as your screen saver. Also add plenty of diamanté to the back so the lovely volunteers in lost and found can get it back to you.
# Upload find a friend, 365, or similar app to all your groups phones. It's makes it easier to find you when you are lying face down.
# If you are leaving your tent behind, clean it out please. One year I found 3 passports and other valuables. Throw your sleeping bag over the top. Charities have a very short time to gather up what they can. If sleeping bags are out (and all rubbish gone, no point bring black bags just to leave them unopened in the middle of shitty jocks) Charities that take bags move through quicker leaving the next crowd able to dismantle the tents. The majority are bulldozed as there isn't enough time to clean them out then gather up what is usable.
# Buddy system travelling to and from campsite espically at night. Applicable to males as much as to females.
# Arrange a meet up point eg the big tree at the back of the main arena. You are going to need this when your phone dies. Meet there let's say on the half hour if someone gets separated.
# If you are going to "visit" someone else's tent, let your group know. Only thing worse than spending half the day looking for someone that isn't missing is looking for someone that is.
# Enjoy the craic. Listen to the music. Make new friends. Hug strangers. Dress to impress or shock but bring your triple fluffy jammies to sleep in. Twould freeze the balls off a brass monkey at 4am.
# If all else fails, ring your Mammy. She always loves you no matter how much a gobshite you have been. She still might box you about the ears though. That's it. Have fun and be safe.
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